Ringo's Room

More Poetry ~A Buffet Of Love For My Scrumptious Apple~

2008-07-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Oh Ringo

Oh, oh Ringo
Yeah, you're a good pearl
Rock my world
C'mon!

The stalk of your apple
I rip from the stem
I go by my instinct
and bite into the hem

Of your dress
You know how to impress
I untangle your vest
From the hairs in your breast

Just kidding, girl! Your beauty is flawless
We can't help but ogle the bounty before us,
Me, my willy and hairy legs
You, just fucking perfection all over the place

So let's do it! Let's stop talking
You can't have sex when you are walking
Let's get down, let's make love
To the pits of hell from the clouds above!!

A Girl With Class

Ringo, your pussy
Is like the nine trillionth IV interval 1/43 equation found in the string quartet of Debussy
Ringo, your cunt
Is like the idiomatic chord progressions that fuel the power-pop found on Todd Rundgren's album Runt
Ringo, your arse
Is like the Deleuzeian idea of a man's need for data being incorrigible, the need for it to be metaphysically parsed
Ringo, your dick
It doesn't exist

Ringo, my girl
You rock my world in a manner equivalent to distorted chord riffers such as t'Sabbath and t'Deep Pur'l
Ringo, my bitch
You suck my dick, a sexy witch!

Fuck me in the ass!
Shit on my balls!
Eat my shite!
Lick my world!

Know this well, as a girl of trust!
Your ubiquitous charms are the subject of my lust
yeah, and I'm gonna go live in Japan
Wear a scarf and stick it to the man
Wielding the folklore of Circe and Pan
And the Renaissance stylings of Steeleye Span!

Django Reindhart ROCKS!!

The Flower Of You
Ringo, do you remember when I brought you that flower?
Yes
You looked at it for half an hour
I wondered, is that where you get your power?

Then I noticed the look on your face
Similar to the studious expression of one examining themselves in the mirror
Looking around, striving for progress
Using every opportunity to put life to the test

Then I realised, "wow, could it be?"
And then you said "Yes,
the only real flower is me."

It made so much sense.
You're beautiful, growing all the time
So tender, yet with a brash aesthetic strength
God Ringo, gimme your breasts!

Guest Contributor - Paul Morley

2008-06-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

Today I hand over to a fine gentleman. A man who goes by the name of Paul Morley. A man wielding meticulous pop knowledge and a truly exceptional way with words, which has no doubt caused controversy with those who are too illiterate to consider the deeper craftwork of sonic frequencies we would consider to be "pop perfection". Take it away Paul!

Words And Music Part 2 - The Female Musician Part 1 - Ringo

The songs that saved your life.

THIS CHARMING WOMAN, The woman that saved your life, or at least she can protect you from a cruel and corrupt world.

I recall an encounter with her, a very musical encounter, she was wielding post-neo-classical-baroque-pop. She knew exactly what she was doing, we never went to see her, she came to see us. She teased our tympanic membranes with her rousing frequencies, a look which pierces our anterior chambers, irrefutable style. A stern sexed-up face with belittling smiles, dual sight globes which peer into our very souls, and which she wields as gorgeous eccentric weapons. She was not waiting all that time, she was arming herself. A girl whom nature chose to sculpt itself, surpassing measly human efforts in the process and even outdoing itself - it is as if Ringo-chan rose from the ether, of her own accord, and had little to do with anything mortals are able to conceive. Addictive as coke, COCA-COLA!

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. She wielding a guitar, the guitar which she had saved a company with. Her guitar. She wields it with such precision and care BUT it's not just attention to armour. It's a very low-key affair and yet the very notion of a girl wielding a guitar is mindblowing in itself. Striding through regions and religions only touched upon by such rock gods as THE QUO, she becomes a modern day Jean D'Arc. A fearsome feminist, killing easy male preconceptions of women and doing justice to their true profundity. Nobody can bear Ringo's intensity, and yet it is rawly thrilling to witness her exhibitions of sense-based elemental sculptures, like aural/visual/visceral tornadoes that charr and eliminate the soul only to pave the way for a inner rebirth and replenishing.

Another encounter, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Merely two years on, and she had rebuilt her character, teleporting us to a smokey french club in the 1950s as she caresses her slender body with a fine avant-garde style of dress and opera gloves which exude a vice-like grip onto the microphone, and onto her life. Also onto our hearts. Her voice, so raw, dominating the orchestra behind her. She was a succubus. Her boobs looked quite big and you could see her nipples through her dress. Her gorgeous slight movements, she was making sexy noises and breathing all over the mic and shit, IT WAS FUCKING AROUSING!

She is filthy as well.

"If I make my throat work, you’ll spill over and overflow"

that is her artfully describing giving a blowjob. Lyrics to what was probably a fine slice of Morleyian Pop Perfection. CLASSY! But I think it's splendid that we have these deep female musicians tackling explicit sexual subjects unrestrained with such casuality (a morleyism). It signifies a significant "fuck you" to malekind which harkens back to the riot-grrl roots, but simultaneously we are aroused by the tenacity and indeed audacity of these bold and yet marvellously crafted female statements. A movement I like to call "Art-Slut" but I must ask, if a woman uses such archaic, baroque, and pulchritudinously poetic words, can she be excused from such a demeaning tag? Does she maintain her dignity? I believe so. Marvellous!

What IS Pop?

I remember when she formed her band, a multifarious posse of jazz-wankers wielding painfully modern jazzrockpopcore. But something wasn't quite right, to quote a bequiffed Manchester loner "The music that they constantly play, it says nothing to me about my life."

Indeed, it seems our fair maiden had gotten carried away. Or to put it in more brutal terms, lost her head up her arse. I don't want to hang her though, I still love her in a very real way, but I feel as though she doesn't love me as much anymore.

There was an exception, a particularly raw noise frenzy driven by megaphones and liberal use of a "Pub Keyboard" (Imagine the cricket themes ong, the cheapo organ.) But alas, not enough. I stop and question to myself "is THIS pop?" "is THIS a pop downfall?" in harsh comparison to a heroin induced rock self-destruction "is THIS a pop downfall?" A "Popfall" if you will.

On the live front, we witnessed her "sell out" as it were. No longer were her crowds composed of nerdy men in glasses who probably just came to look at her body, or maybe they came because her old HITS really spoke to us about OUR LIVES? These days her crowds featured notably trendy young women, who all had the same rather vile orangey-brown hair dye. Who no doubt aspired to be like her. Of course they could not, NOBODY COULD. Perhaps her concerts were saved when she quite frankly "BUSTED OUT THE OLD HITS" in a manner similar to the manchesterian candidate Paul Weller. But there is a distinct difference. Back then when she EXPLODED onto the alternative female musician scene, EXPLODED! Her arsenal of 60s outsider folk inspired, streetwise, gritty, HONEST words and pop delicacies.

Back when she referred to herself as THE SADISTIC PRINCESS! For reasons we are not sure of, possibly because her fine aural morsels and amorous character made us into her slaves. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! She stomped around the dingy livehouse stage in torn fishnets, her bra was hanging off, her dress was incredibly skimpy, I COULD SEE HER FUCKING KNICKERS! She was screaming into a megaphone, if you reached your hand out to her, SHE WOULD TOUCH IT! A GIRL TOUCHING YOUR HAND! She sends female depth charges to EXPLODE YOUR PANTS. But how chauvanistic of me to focus on her body. I couldn't help it when she was so sexually-aggressive, as was her music. A scorching punk spirit, yet irrefutably pop. She knew how Joan Of Arc felt, as the flames rose to her mole and the plastic personas of other popstars started to melt.

THIS! IS POP!

Then I view her modern performances with her party of musical scholars. Now she is waltzing around a huge stage in a dress that I bet was FACKING EXPENSIVE, it reflects the culture of the 18th century french working girls, the original petite bourgeoisie. She has flowers in her hand and she seems distant. "It just wasn't like, the old days anymore."

Then mum walked in again, she said "Paul! That's nice dear, how does she get her hair like that?" I said "NO MUM! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! This isn't meant to be what she is about!" then I had to hit mum with the saucepan.

She once said, "I find pop to be really artificial and plastic, I wanted to make something real." in her typical charming way. And FUCKING HELL did she succeed. This music has been dragged through the streets, thrown off buildings, scrapped across subway tracks, and thrown into the clouds.

WHAT IS POP?! WHAT IS A WOMAN?!

This is pop, this is a woman. A pop-woman a wop, woman-pop womop, wop, etc.

It is now within this moment I recall a wonderful piece of footage from her younger days. She spontaneously and eccentrically begins to dance and sing in the streets, onlookers ponder "who is this daft bint?" and indeed, if I was there I may feel the need to put my fat morley hand over her beautiful mouth in order to silence her burning musical spirit, in order to save her from any embarrassment in the eyes of those who cannot understand pop. But I couldn't believe it. I COULD. NOT. BELIEVE IT! Here she was, completely free, completely happy, beautiful. Let her be. This is female liberation.

I had to cry. The first tears of joy I have ever felt stream down my face. My mother branded me a sad little man, but for a split-second I saw a particular look in her eyes. I knew she understood, she understood it on a different level, as a female she felt liberated. As a male I saw incredible beauty in the footage. It could well be the finest melding of pop and TV ever conceived. The ONLY melding of pop and TV ever conceived.

In that moment, if she would have said "Would you like to marry me?" Yes. How did you know? But alas, the moment has passed. As I go back to the tormenting prison of my brilliant mind, I still long for the time to reappear in some unknown far off realm.

"Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."

I've been Paul Morley.

Koko De Kiss Shite - Where?

2008-06-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

You may recall the fair maiden's HIT Koko De Kiss Shite (Kiss Me Here for the uneducated) where she tackled the restraints of a conventional love song, infusing it with an innuendoic edge.

Touched by her words, and fascinated by the prospect of a deeper meaning, I penned this response song where I ask the burning question?

Kiss You Where?

You said you wanted to be kissed,
But I was wondering exactly where you wanted to be kissed?

You are in front of me, are you weeping?

I have vast ideas of Anarchy. You could say I was a modern day Sid Vicious with my superficial ideas of an anarchist aesthetic.

I am not going anywhere,
I would like to stand next to you if possible,
you say you want to be kissed,
but where exactly?

You gazed as I looked at other girls,
Of course I felt this,
You ARE a pretty girl, and I will look in your direction.

I am staying here,
You are very lovely too,
I only have eyes for you too,
but where do you want to be kissed again?

I am not going anywhere,
I would like to stand next to you if possible,
you say you want to be kissed,
but where exactly?

le papier peint parte trois

2008-06-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

Spark interest and discussion about your desktop with these fantastic papers constructed by your host "with the most" MOI! Great slogans, great girl, great times. CLICK FOR BIG!

It would be my great pleasure if a reader was to email me a photograph of their computer screen enlightened by my art. Would be wonderful.

Poetry...3

2008-05-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

I Wonder

Sometimes
I wonder
Wonder out loud
To the magic of sound
And look what I've found

A girl so young
But a girl so great
So now I have her wonderful music
On my plate

Ringo, a fruity treat
She is not to be treated as a slab of meat
A girl who flouts feminine convention
She is nevertheless a fine confection
Men are drawn as if by magnet
Until shallow attraction appears to stagnate
And true artistic appreciation
Reveals itself in bottomless sation.

Bare

Shiina Ringo
You are so fair
And full of care
With finely combed hair
And a crazy stare
Come into my lair
If you dare
And we will shag
You sexy slag.

le papier peint parte deux

2008-04-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Another fine piece of art, crafted out of sheer imagination. Madame Ringo, Mother Nature, conjures up a dress of foilage as she lights up the heavens with a performance.

The green curtains raising up into the air represent such foilage in it's natural habitat. The blue streak shooting off to the right represents raging waters and their desire to return to their point of origin. A skyline which falls, and a blazing sunlight.

The circle of life.

Analyse Visuelle de Ringo no Uta

2008-04-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

As the year 2004 approached, and after creating possibly her magnum-opus in the form of 加爾基　精液　栗ノ花, the ever astounding goddess of music Shiina Ringo decided to put her solo career on hiatus to concentrate on forming a band, a decision which sparked mass hysteria across the continent of Japan and set Ringo's fanbase into frenzy. What was our girl doing? But what Ringo did next settled fan doubts.

As a farewell (albeit a very dignified one) she presented us with a final single. The masterwork that is "りんごのうた" "The Apple's Song" or however else you wish to translate it (leave it in Japanese, please).

Now the single contained something very, very interesting indeed. A song formed entirely out of samples from her career, a rather unconventional idea which again proved that on an artistic level she is still not to be trifiled with. But what I wish to discuss today is the excellent title track, a beautiful laid-back composition that has a low-profile swagger, but still it carries a mournful undertone that stirs our emotions and fills our eyes. This is the Ringo we knew and the Ringo we know. What is the difference anyway between past and present? Ringo is Ringo. But she's grown so much... but it's still good old rocking Ringo. After this single, Ringo's fans were all ready to wave goodbye to their heroes solo career and wished her good luck with the band, knowing that this was not the end of the Ringo story, but in fact barely the beginning...

To create a concise package with the single's theme of closure, and retrospection, two promotional videos were directed and given on a DVD with the single. The first contained her reenacting various scenes from her past videos in appropriate costume. However the second, the "unplugged" version presented her in a blank room, still outfitted in the various past costumes but somehow despite the clothing she seems "naked" on a metaphorical level. We see a very human side to the artist, and it is almost as if she is addressing us personally, alone, one to one, which again adds to the impact and gets us rather teary eyed.

And this is what I wish to deconstruct today, quite possibly one of her greatest visual presentations. And also, quite sadly, possibly the closest we shall ever get to her person.

A blank room, however it is completely filled suddenly by a certain young woman's personality - once which we recognise immediately, due to our refined cultural awareness and appreciation for curious characters such as Ringo. It is then that we see le reine pomme walk out, the same dark, ravenesque girl we seen three years previously in the rose gardens of Kiss Shite. However, as we look into her face, we notice reformation. She has matured ever so slightly, thinned, a sharper look. Here we witness the peak of stage two in Ringo's physical career. Refinement, like a perfectly sculpted Renaissance sculpture. A picture of realism and unrequited desire in one clashing shot.

Still wielding the famed Dusenberg, however this is a Ringo from a year before. The angel-winged school girl in calm disarray lying on a concrete floor. Surrounded by a confused public. So timid and ungainly, yet with a natural born raw purity and sweetness. Now off the floor and into a non-descript room for our observation. She contrasts with the wall by being so magical and pure, as I like to say, an amazing contradiction.

A very rare moment. A Ringo who previously only existed in the animated realm of 真夜中は純潔 is dragged into our reality. Fresh from a colourful caper, a 60s catsuited, crime-fighting, femme fatale. Ringo as 峰不二子, and the ultimate combination of sweetness and strength. A very sexy combination! But also really tough and that. If she was ever angry, she could slap me in the face for as long as she wanted, AND I WOULD LOVE IT!

The former princess, and now queen of Kabuki-cho. Previously seen being sexually suggestive on the streets of Shinjuku, here present in her militaristic attire which represents the intense mental training which was required to dethrone her mother and also references night ladies involved in military situations. Such as a Joy Division, or those that sold themselves to western soliders during WW2.

The first geisha that appears, not from a career perspective though. Seems to be a personification of Miss Ringo's general mood, casual mood, the "neutral" geisha as it were. Maybe this is the perfect state of humanity, neither hot or cold, the ultimate balance. Yet, perhaps thus the least accessible side of Ringo, the one most free of luresome lustre. Notice the colour of her Kimono and then notice the themed colour of this site, I chose grey to indeed represent this more common side of Ringo's character. Common, yet boundlessly unique. This is Ringo after all.

A country lass, who travelled an abstract, depression struck alien landscape in the video for mega-power-ballad "GIPS". Notice the red leather choker and wrist band, which could actually directly reference the outfit worn in the video for 罪と罰. Perhaps this is a younger version of that Ringo, one yet to take a fall through the darker side of life. The red could be a metaphor for suffering, and here it only has a slight grip on Ringo, albeit strategically placed in vulnerable positions, hence the ballad nature of the particular song the outfit was used for.

And so here it is. The 罪と罰 (Crime and Punishment) outfit. And as we can see she wears a full outfit of red leather, which as I mentioned in the last video could indeed represent suffering, in this case then she is suffering heavily - an angel that has fallen into the mires of a corrupt society and needs to seek refuge, but is hopelessly marred in bottomless sorrow. Angsty, yes, but the emotional effect it has on us leaves no doubt of Ringo's authenticity. Desperate and close to the edge as reflected by the tone of the song and video, particularly the scene in which she holds a katana to her throat, however her neck is free from the red which could suggest the watered down feelings of longing that were present in GIPS. Notice the black eyeliner, a great strip of black depression across her character, a slyly delivered blow of hatred or negativity obviously delivered by one jealous of Ringo's beauty

And so here we have the "positive" geisha from the 積木遊び video. An upbeat, fun, flamboyant personality, but also carries the sexually aggressive and hard-to-get edge usually associated with Ringo. Could be a manifestation of Ringo's good mood.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, the "negative" geisha from STEM. Almost spectral in appearance, a lady of death. Not evil, but exibits a dark, depressing presence. Quite possibly a manifestion of Ringo's bad mood.

The infamous challenging nurse, answering those ignorant enough to say "why don't you dress up as a nurse anymore?" But now carrying a more stern, serious look. Indeed, the young nurse has gotten older. A girl committed to healing, who has already had to heal herself many times spiritually. Ringo has been through a lot and people take this credibility as a bond of trust - Ringo is as reliable as fuck.

A particularly interesting moment, and the only thing besides Ringo that appears in the room. But this could possibly be a representation of Ringo. The large red apple splitting, which represents her solo career, breaking open and unveiling a fresh green apple which represents her future exploits. The splitting of the apple may also represent strong feminist tendencies - the splitting of the Adam's Apple, the silencing of men and the ultimate death blow.

A final face to face with each version of Ringo, counting down from the last single to the first. A montage that delivers the clear meaning and implication of what we've seen so far, clearly animating in fast pace the build up and evolution of Ringo. Suddenly a flash of white light, and we are presented with...

The new Shiina Ringo naked. Not only on a metaphorical level anymore, which is frankly a stroke of genius on her part, as she does acknowledge the significance of this promotional video, but it also serves as a direct challenge to those who are only interested in her image. But who can blame such ruffians who do not understand the arts? For she is indeed a beautiful woman. However, she finally presents herself naked for their entertainment, but she only shows herself from shoulder level up, no doubt frustrating them. A rather amusing gesture typical of Ringo. But what is also important here is the fact her mole has gone, believed to have been removed for medical reasons but it also represents a fresh start for Ringo, a lesser emphasis on herself as she wishes to form a band.

Analyse Visuelle de Kiss Shite

2008-04-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

Koko De Kiss Shite, Kiss Me Here.

Ringo's most pop moment, A slice of Morleyian Pop Perfection.

Her first Top 10 Hit, albeit in a chart filled with what I like to call "Cookie Cutter Crap" or "C.C.C." for short. Not to be confused with avant-Japanoise group "C.C.C.C." although some, such as I, may consider such cookie cutter pop rubbish to be unpleasant noise.

What at first seems like a simple, sweet, love song is actually a multi-layered masterpiece. There is the base layer, which I refer to as the "Thicko" layer. This is the layer which presents itself as a simple love song, no doubt why it sold so much. But under that there is "My" layer. The layer which presents the song as a harsh parody of the submissive personas of female musicians in our modern age.

Now I shall delve into the wonderfully shot promotional video for this very single. The visual concoction that was threaded to accompany this very single in the ever-so-plastic world of MTV.

We begin. "A sexy young woman, with a guitar, hmm" WHOMMPPHH! This is the point I unwrap a poundland blank VHS, pop it into the VCR, and press record, Metaphorically speaking of course. Notice the ropes underneath her dress, which symbolise bondage. Instantly we know this is a play on the stereotype that Japanese women are sexually submissive. It also represents Ringo's masochistic desire to be taken by us, well, me, and be sexually degraded. The first in a series of double meanings. Whilst she realises the stereotype and addresses it, being a Japanese woman, she also cannot prevent herself from being submissive.

First Ringo sings unaccompanied, with an extremely mocking and ironic tone that tears chunks from the shallow conceptualisation of love, and it is clear that the target of her bile and ire is nothing less than the soullessly submissive female musicians / pop icons that litter Ringo's path.

She looks at the microphone with contempt, contempt at the cliches of pop stardom and fakery, and this is yet another irony due to the fact that, despite this contempt, she realises this is her only means of communication in this situation.

Here is a particularly interesting moment. Still having not tamed the aggressive beast that is Rock 'n' Roll, Ringo turns faint and almost passes out, due to the sheer weight of the heavy riffs she is "Riffing". Look Ringo, Rocking out is great and all, but sometimes you must be careful and take your time, keep your shit together as it were, your "shite". Contained within the full parody of the fragility of certain girl singers, you would assume this was some sort of spoof, but could actually be a double meaning that Ringo herself is delicate here, and that is profoundly deep, Not to mention it's very cute! Or as I like to say "かわいい!".

Ah! The old Ringo stare, an unofficial signature of hers. That particular wide eyed stare that makes us question her mental stability, and indeed adds an eccentricity to her character that we find gorgeous. Carry on.

Beautiful eyes that pierce my very soul and caress it, A traditional and natural woman, but she carries a modern edge. Distinctly pleasing to view in DVD quality. I feel an incendiary sensation between my legs, a considerably pleasant warmth, a benevolent burning, a broiling enticement towards this female creature. I quite frankly want to fuck her brains out, right there, and right then. But alas, she doesn't want me :( . How could she? She doesn't even know me...

Analyse D'image

2008-03-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

Moments of her life, forever caught. Presented to us.

Ringo the beauty. Ringo the woman. Ringo as only Ringo does. Such an entertaining blend of purples and beiges, compels the viewer to see into the allure of culture and ponder what place this sort of pursuit has in modern society. Yes, she is certainly an irresistable charmess, but doesn't give a fuck and is badass. Despite this risk, however, you cannot deny her. It is impossible.

Dressed in purity, colours of prime, shines like an angel, contrasts Ringo's controversial public image AND YET it shows a defiance. In the way she carries herself, and is focused and has her shit together, she is dominating proceedings. An amazing contradiction.

This image is a profoundly post-modern concoction of visuals. The striking clash of elements, the gun, the woman, the low key mood, it harkens to films of yore such as those of kinji fukasaku, and yet, is so current it hurts.

2003-era Ringo is presented with a harsh political climate. Ringo is juxtaposed against it, as her own political agenda is antagonising towards this one, she looks upon the pride driven nationalists with scorn, driving through them with a glare that could cut steel and make walls come tumbling down. Cor blimey, she is FUCKING PISSED OFF. Check out the sheer disgust on her face. Excellent.

In stark contrast to the previous image, this UNBELIEVABLY enthusiastic smile represents the sweet innocence of her own personality. Just look at her, LOOK AT HER! How happy is she? She wants you to be happy as well, how can you look into those majestic eyes, and argue with anything she says? The purity of her worldview, the sweetness of a woman. Before she was presented with images of vile nationalists, hence why she wears more feminine attire in the previous image, to further emphasise her purity in contrast to the evil right-wingers. But here she is wearing more casual clothing, showing that her purity can shine through regardless of outfit. WHAT A SMILE.

le papier peint

2008-03-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

Inspired by HEDOfloe's masterpieces, I myself took to the arts to craft this very desktop wallpaper to lay proudly across your screen. A guitar wielding girl, a powerful and provocative slogan, bound to catch the eye and imagination of passers-by. It would be my great pleasure if a reader was to email me a photograph of their computer screen enlightened by my art. Would be wonderful.

lyrique de la semaine #3

2008-03-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Who could forget "歌舞伎町の女王"?

The controversial seedy classic, in which Ringo takes on the character of a young prostitute in the Kabuki-Cho area of Shinjuku. Quite frankly, it's a testement to her brilliant mind that she comes from quiet Fukuoka in the south, up to busy Tokyo, and manages to completely deconstruct the underbelly of Shinjuku and then reconstruct it as a slice of, as the great Paul Morley would say, Pop Perfection. As if she had always lived there. Outstanding.

The song sounds folkish in nature, resembling the outsider folk 60's anthems as performed by "三上寛". Or a more modern example would be the recent output by elderly punk legend "遠藤ミチロウ".

The particular line I wish to speak about is as follows.

"kono machi de musume no atashi ga joou"

Or

"From tonight onward in this town, I, once the queen’s daughter, am now queen."

For the stupid.

First you must understand what happens musically during this particular recital. The tempo drops, the guitar begins to stir, the line is delivered with a restrained exuberance, our jaws drop to the floor.

When I first heard this, a time when I was rather unfamiliar with Ringo, I sat silently in amazement. "Who is this girl? I need her!"

Spectacular. It's almost as if the whole song builds up to this one line, in which she rather proudly announces she has taken her mother's title of best prostitute in Kabuki-Cho, she has become...

"The Queen Of Kabuki-Cho".

2008-03-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

Ringo-go-go

2008-03-29T02:20:00.001-07:00

Standing with my red crunchy girl

The wind blows like a man's sneezing nose
Blows out dust and the dirt of life
Because we're ringo-go-going to the moon

Yeah, me and my girl
Her name is Ringo-go-go
We're Ringoing to the moon and nobody can stop it happening
No, oh

She raises me from the ground
I'm floating around
With a girl I love
Ringo-go-going up

We're still flying higher
And it'll never stop
But then she hit a plane
And she's Ringo-go-go-gone

Oh Ringo, no
Why did you Ringo-go-go?
You were the best, you had a magic to you
And I really felt it in our love
Oh christ!
Ringo, no! NO!!!!!

Great Minds (Linnea Niklasson)

2008-03-27T09:48:00.001-07:00

Who is Linnea Niklasson? Those of you asking this - and you call yourself Ringo fans! - she is simply a beautiful, intelligent young Swedish girl, who is the sole proprieter of what may be one of the most incredible websites devoted to Ringo on this side of the Web. You may know this site as http://www.shiinaringo.se.

An astounding woman by any standard, she has maintained a solid passion for the Ringo since the sites inception, along with an immense level of integrity as evidenced by the .se part of her address which reveals her staunch national pride. This is in direct and sad contrast to the situation at Ringo Jihen, a website on its last legs. How can a website with no soul function? This is the question Linnea asks, and answers resoundingly with a perfectly Swedish-accented "No". In this way she is violently attacking Claudia of Ringo Jihen for her lack of commitment.

Her love for Ringo comes through in full force here, you can feel the giddiness, the tears, the elation, the hardships, the truth... as you read her honest-to-god account. So without further ado, here is Linnea herself.

1) You have amassed an unbelievable collection of ringo shots, which all seem to capture the various sides and personalities of this goddess. Do you have a favourite shot, or feel that ringo is someone who's essence cannot be fully captured in a meagre photo? but can only barely be approximated by thousands upon thousands of them?

- Well, while I wouldn't put it in as big words as you do, I think it is difficult to pick a favorite. I think I prefer the less "staged" photos in general, because they show the person behind the artist - kind of like the backstage videos on her DVDs do.

2) Did you have a predefined goal when you created the site? Did you wish to spread the influence of Ringo, or merely use the site as a front for the furthering and blossoming of your own personal passions and fervours towards her?

- When I first created the site back in 2004, there was no really massive, active website. I wanted a place where you could find all her lyrics compiled together, and after unfruitful searching I decided to make one myself. I created the website in Swedish to make it stand out a little, and also, to see how many Swedish Ringo fans there were - and it seems there are quite a few! Yet, when I started working with Jonny, we decided to focus mostly on English (although the site still is available partially in Swedish) since we felt that as the site grew larger, more people would want to be able to use it.

3) Do you feel that Ringo's amorous effect on your senses has driven you to design the site with a red background in mind? After all, red is the colour of love.

- Hahaha no, not at all. I made the layout in December, and I felt red was more christmas-y than the previous layout color, which I think was gray or blue. If you've known SRSE for a while you should know that.

4) As a fellow female, have you ever felt any sexual attraction to Ringo? Does she tap into a particular lesbian psyche of average girls? Because I feel that Honnou, among other aspects of Ringo's career that incorporate lesbian imagery, stands for an upturning of sexual morale and a desire to find truth in the senses. Do you agree with this and / or the previous questions?

- The first question is pretty personal - I'd like to leave that blank. Ringo herself said that she made the 'Honnou' PV to show that women could have sexual fantasies, just like men could. I'm not sure I think there are that many other aspects of Ringo's career that incorporate lesbian imagery? I do think, to go a bit off-topic, that she stretches the limits for a woman artist in Japan by doing a number of things, but in the end she just wants to make music. She's such a private person, I don't want to speculate about this, but after reading interviews with her, my opinion is that she wants us as fans to see behind the PR and just listen to the music.

5) There is a very artistic effect to the layout, is this a conscious decision to express ringo through visuals? For example, on the lyrics page, all song titles are written in full lowercase, foregoing punctuation. This reminded me of the low-key, diminutive side of Ringo's personality that we see at times. But the background remained a shade of flaring, sex-hungry red. Were you trying to emphasise the contrasts and ambiguities in Ringo's work with this?

- Well, like I said, the red background is because I made the latest layout at Christmas. I do think of how the site looks, of course, but my main goal with the layout is that it should be easy and logic to navigate through it and find what you like.

6) I see you have translated various words of Ringo, do you have a particular favourite line which touches you? Or do you find it impossible to sum up Ringo in singularities, because she's just too profound for that? I feel this way all the time. Who do I think I am, trying to SUM UP RINGO? Have you ever found a line that does this?

- I am not nearly fluent enough in Japanese to translate Ringo's lyrics - I always use frecklegirl's translations. I have a couple of lines from her songs that touch me every single time I listen to them, some for obvious reasons & some for more personal ones. I think the lyrics to "Odaiji ni" are amazing, I can't pick a favorite line from it... I also love when she plays on words, changing kanji/kana to show something hidden, or just something to make you laugh out loud. It may be a clichée, but I don't think I could sum up ANYONE in just a word or a line. Trying to think up a favorite...

" The gauze that wraps around my skin is a white lie, a sweet trap
If I betray myself I'd be taking the easy way out.
I'm all grown up now, so permit me to sing a little and laugh a little
at least until I can breathe." (Odaiji ni)

7) We see links to various other ringo dedicated sites, do you feel yours surpasses them to a great degree? I feel it does.

- Well, thank you :) I really don't know how to answer that question without either sounding like an imbecil or a stuck-up bitch, so I'd rather not. But thank you.

8) Are any of the photos in the gallery taken by yourself? Have you ever met Ringo? And if so, is there any way you can put me through to her somehow. I would love to interview her, or even just get to talk to her.

- No, and no, unfortunately.

9) Have you ever dreamt of Ringo?

- Probably... I dream of a lot of things. Nothing worth mentioning here though.

10) What do you think about the undeniable ゲルニカ influence? What particular aspects of Ringo's creative efforts do you think it most influenced?

- I assume you're talking about the Japanese band and not the Picasso painting: honestly, I've never heard them nor have I ever heard them mentioned in an interview with or a discussion about Ringo, so I can't really say anything about that. But I'd love to hear what you have to say.

11) An invitation from Ringo to a love hotel, wine and strawberries, would you accept? I certainly would.

- I'd never turn down a chance to meet Ringo.

12) What does Ringo mean to you?

- Wow, the shortest question is the hardest.

I first heard Ringo's when I was fourteen years old, and I don't think I would be the same person without her, seriously. Through her music I've found sooo many other artists that I listen to every day - in so many genres. Through her fearlessness I have found a way to not care as much about what people think. She made me want to learn Japanese. I've cried listening to 'Gips', I've danced to 'Yokushitsu', I've played 'Koufukuron' on the guitar until my fingers ache. Ringo has been a part of my life for so long I can't separate from her in any way. To me, Ringo means... I can't end the sentence without feeling I'm missing something. Let's just say I owe her a lot.

Great Minds (Claudia Ladogana)

2008-03-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

In today's post we will be interviewing the ringleader of one of the premier Ringo web establishments - the infamous Ringo Jihen, a site known for the webmaster's uncanny interpretations of Ringo and her art as well as its still-bustling Electric Mole forum (where the great HEDOfloe can be found contributing to the community in droves). What this interview with Claudia Ladogana sadly revealed to me, however, is that here is a Ringo fan who has clearly jumped their proverbial shark, run out of good things to say and ultimately revealed the true nature of their fandom - that of a shallow poser, only into Ringo for self-preservation and helping out the government, "The Man" in matters that only a slimy little whore can attend to (for nobody else would be caught dead in such an undignifying pose).

Ringo virgins, be aware that the interviewee's opinions in this interview should be taken with a pinch of salt - although we can never ever dispute the contribution Claudia made to the Ringo fan community in her prime, you should be aware that the dear lady now espouses a great deal of embittered bullshit. To clarify, everything Ringo has put her name to is GOLD. I will not let this interview falter my love for her, and neither should anyone else. Real Ringo fans are stronger than that!

Nevertheless, I thank Claudia Ladogana for giving me her time for these questions and hope to capture the spirit of her classic self in my own work.

1) Perhaps the biggest attraction to your site is the Electric Mole forum, a public congregate of Ringo fans who participate in lengthy and literate discourses of her life and achievements. As a fan myself I dream of one day giving back to Ringo in a similarly grandiose fashion, and the Mole boards are my predominant inspiration in this regard. What is the key to the Electric Mole's prosperity, the ingredients or drive behind it? Or, what would you say to a fellow Ringo fan who wishes to give back to the community and their idol?

I haven't been updating the site or even checking the forum for ages. I'm afraid that Tokyo Jihen slowly killed my interest in Shiina Ringo... I still listen to her older works up to KSK, I liked Kyoiku to some extent, but since Otona, their music got too far from my taste. So I gave up on the forum and site. They were mantained by myfriend Lolo for a while, but now I think he doesn't check it anymore, as well.

2) Your site dispenses with the galleries typical of Ringo fansites. Is this a statement against the artificiality of image, your stand against superficial fans of Ringo who love merely her appearance and fail to look beyond that to the seminal artistic relevence?

Can I be REALLY honest? I didn't include any gallery because I couldn't bother my lazy self to put up one. XDDD

3) The reviews / descriptions of Ringo's videos and albums on the site are vivid, vigilant, spark with imagination and display perceptive critical judgement. They drew me in and suddenly I was there, watching the video or listening to the album by reading your descriptions. Is this a conscious decision on your part, a goal to communicate your love for Ringo?

Yes, I love Ringo's older music and I wanted to communicate my love for her works. ^___^ I'm happy you enjoyed my writings.

L'Évolution De Shiina Ringo

2008-03-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

The young Shiina Ringo. A young girl still coming to terms with the world around her. Unaware of the fact that she would go on to become the most important woman in music, and a huge success in the future. Although she was already probably deeply interested in the avant-garde stylings of ゲルニカ.

Here is a teenage indie Ringo, no doubt standing backstage at a performance. Fully committed to music and clearly showing no regard or care for the economically motivated music industry, Ringo here is an urban teenage Trobairitz with songs to spare and a touch of punk humility that provides an earnest bedfellow for her free thinking personality.

Ringo as she crosses over from her 19th to 20th year. As we look into her eyes, we see an incredibly fiery determination stare back at us. A girl wielding a guitar, such potent, exotic, and iconic imagery in our modern times. The way she clings to it, we sense she may be uncertain in her musical abilities, but as we look into her eyes once again, we realise she is full to the brim with confidence. This particular guitar, the "Duesenberg Starplayer" was unpopular at the time, but after people were blown away by Ringo, it suddenly started selling in Japan. She singlehandedly saved the company on the eastern front. She is even mentioned in the history of the Duesenberg company. Amazing stuff.

We all know this Ringo. The Nurse Ringo who shocked the world in a Situationist stunt that was a shoehorning of docile cosplay into the subversive terrains of feminism. Her pristine wear and immaculate makeup capture an ideal, which Ringo simultaneously challenges with aggressively sexual independence. Suddenly the domino of mainstream society, necessarily erect to prevent collapse, had fallen and the cracks were showing in Japan's flawed hegemony. The famous video for "本能", the famous scene in which Ringo mounts another girl and proceeds to caress her neck with her tongue. The nurse persona, typically caring in a sterile environment, now sexually aggressive. A woman, licking the neck of another female, a provocative piece of footage in itself, but when you consider it's Ringo, it truly becomes something quite amazing - incredible defiance of society's unwritten laws and comforts, the likes of which Japan had never seen. And I know a fucking lot about Japan so don't try arguing with me, YOU WILL FAIL. When asked about it, Ringo bluntly retorted with "Women need sexual fantasies too" Genius, typical Ringo genius.

I covered KZK in detail previously, but as a new album came along, so did a new image for Ringo. In contrast to her previously aggressive, guitar wielding self, we were presented with an elegant chanteuse. A woman that had been brought from the 1930s, now sporting vintage aristocratic dresses that resembled nothing less than effervescent cascades of fabric which embraced Ringo like a loving partner, and opera gloves. Ringo herself had matured into a refined beauty. In this particular image her face is covered with a veil, shrouding it like the personality she shrouds with publicity. This stylistic shift was also represented in her music - once again, refer back to the KZK post for more info.

After the inner and outer overhaul of Ringo's final solo album, we can only guess that she reached a kind of enlightenment through the creative efforts of her career. Here, in her Jihen days, she seems to be distilling the bustling and wildly fascinating overflow of melanged cultures into a sharp, purposeful direction - one which has proved so novel as to drive spectators into pondering what this new approach to life should be called. Outfitted in the casual, yet old fashioned clothing of a working girl from the 18th century, it was suggested to be "Petite Bourgeoisie" and disapproved of, although this is perhaps the best summation of Ringo's unprecedented philosophy here. Harkening back to a time of repression in an escapist manner seems to once again bring up questions of dichotomy and contradiction - is Ringo exploiting a time of social dread because she thinks the clothes look nice? No. Ringo's idea is anarchist at heart, encouraging us to wield whatever comes to hand, even burdens and enemies, as weapons of empowerment and self-actualisation. To make lemonade from lemons. To turn Hitler into a picket sign.

A Sting...

2008-03-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

Doubtless you are aware of a certain photoshoot I brought up recently, where my precious Ringo was accompanied by a certain "Undesirable" who I went to the lengths of erasing out of a selection of images, improving them as it were.

I took a glance through the photos again recently, and in one I noticed something. I shall leave this photo untouched so you may also feel the emotional impact I felt a few hours ago.

Notice anything? Take a closer look.

Why Ringo? When I seen this, my heart was filled with a certain burning. My eyes filled up. A certain burning jealousy, a certain burning anger. It still pains me to look at it.

Shiina Ringo, I love you more than the world itself, and yet you have never met me, or made any attempt to. So why is it you must hurt me by holding hands with some bloke who looks like my fucking dad?

Great Minds: HEDOfloe

2008-03-19T06:05:00.000-07:00

Today we take a look at those who express their love for Ringo in outlets other than writing. Some of us like to use the medium of art, and today we meet such a person. We have an exclusive interview with HEDOfloe, he is a desktop wallpaper artist who has created some stunningly evocative Ringo-themed works, which we have discussed in detail with him for you.

1) What filters did you use for your wallpapers and why? Please could you go into what effect you think they have on the composition of each wallpaper?

Well, I actually did not use many filters on most of them. I just use a mix of layers, such as layers set to Overlay or Screens to try to get different effects on them. These secondary layers are duplicates of the original image I want to edit, and imposing it on top of the original gives you a different effect. If you change the colors of the duplicate you get even more interesting effects. Then, I manually touch up the original image by smudging and using the clone tool to get rid of artifacts and just soften up the image in general. It takes a while with higher resolution images but the final effect is worth it.

2) When designing wallpapers, do you consider it almost akin to photography? Selecting preferable moments from Ringo's photographed life and capturing them in wallpaper?

I usually don't sit down and say I want to make a wallpaper. Instead, I see an image I like and then decide I'd like to see it more often so I turn it into a wallpaper. It is not really specific moments from Ringo's life or anything like that, just an image that has something I like whether a nice angle, cute expression, cool outfit, or something like that.

3) Your Jihen wallpapers portray nudes. Is this an attempt to provoke controversy, in a punk statement of aggression and rebellion, a comment on the boundaries of social taboo, or even a comment on gender?

The nudes are to be found in the Just Can't Help It! DVD. I do not take credit for taking the pictures of those models (which are not nudes since they have underwear on)

4) In many of your wallpapers, Ringo is presented as being in close proximity to the viewer. Is this to suggest an intimacy with Ringo, or a personal desire to be close to her? Do you feel your wallpapers do justice to Ringo's beauty?

Hahah, I would love to be in close proximity with Ringo but that is not why I usually make the wallpapers closeups. I always enjoy people's faces more than anything so that is part of the reason. But also, I am usually working with images from magazines or something with text on it and so usually the upper body is left text-free, or at least the face is. So it is also just a way of working around the limitations. As far as doing her beauty justice, I think I do :D. In some cases, I'd say I even make her out to be prettier than she really is!! To me, anyway =P

5) Is your computer adorned with these fantastic wallpapers?

Actually, I don't use these wallpapers. I probably used each of them once, if that, and then never used them again. I usually can't stand to look at my creative work after a couple of days, I notice the flaws and such that I would like to change so I don't use them again.

6) In one wallpaper, you present two instances of Ringo. Is this to suggest the different sides of Ringo, or simply a personal wish? Would you prefer to encounter two Ringos rather than just one?

I would love to see two Ringo's in one band! But, no, I just really liked those two images and had to figure out some way to get them on the same wallpaper so I would not have to change between two images. It is one of those few images that I am still happy with, actually.

7) Ringo's name is presented throughout in Japanese characters. Are you fluent in the language?

No, I am nowhere near fluent in Japanese!! However, I am studying it in college. As for the use of the Japanese characters for her name on the wallpapers, it was just because it is easier to place those characters than the roman ones for her name since it is common for Japanese characters to be read from top to bottom and not look as weird as if roman characters were organized that way.

8) Finally, I would like to address the most astounding of all these wallpapers. Ringo is presented in cartoonesque postmodernity surrounded by birds of all aggressions and sensitivies. Could you please go into some detail regarding how on earth you conceived of and developed this piece?

Those are images from booklets of Tokyo Jihen. The one with the birds is from the Kyouiku booklet. I do not take credit for making that image.

deux groupe de ringo

2008-03-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

Hatsuiku Status

Never let it be said that Ringo doesn't love her fans. Whilst her large Gekokujyo Xstasy tour was going on, she still had time to form this ferocious girl band and tour the small livehouses. Considering those who can not go to the big shows and playing all new material which never appeared elsewhere. An act of extreme kindness. Ringo wielding Bass and vocals, and the band also consisted of Tabuchi Hisako, Murata Junko, Torii Yasunobu, and Yoshimura Yuka. As for their sound, well some particular naysayers have claimed they are merely "Fugazi Rip-offs" well I don't know what a Fugazi is. I bet it's some big italian ego band without even a tenth of Ringo's talent, and I bet they only tour big places.

Tokyo Jihen

Comprised of snap-neck bass wizz Seiji Kameda, guitar alchemist Ukigumo, percussive entity Hata Toshiki and Chopin's spiritual successor Izawa Ichiyou - not forgetting Ringo herself, of course - Jihen are Shiina's crack team of militant musicians who seem dead set, album upon album, on bringing down the dams by which genres are defined and musics seperated. Virtuosos one and all, as a band they are godly - but there is still an incredible lesson to be learned when a bandmember goes into his solo part and you realise "fuck, that's a HUMAN? I thought it was just good studio engineering!". But nevertheless it is so - Ringo's band are as live and raw as Husker Du were on Land Speed Record, yet musically competent enough to beat the 70s jazz fusion deities at their own game a million times over.

This unit was formed by Ringo after she blew a kiss to her solo efforts and decided that a band was the best way to realise her musical visions. While Ella Fitzgerald had always been a longtime influence and jazz songwriting always a big part of Ringo's style, Tokyo Jihen really takes her love of jazz to new highs. It is clear that the great bop masters have beared their mark upon these guys - Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Red Garland - along with the classic crooners such as Frank Sinatra (Ringo has covered his classic "The Lady Is A Tramp"). Even hints of free jazz are prevalent in the Jihen musical equation - the Coleman touch is present, along with late Coltrane, Paul Bley and jazzers from her home country such as Kaoru Abe and Masayuki Takayanagi.

And it doesn't stop at jazz. The fury of Ringo's arrangements calls to mind classic post punk outfits such as Wire along with technical death metal as recently practiced by bands such as Gorguts. Dabs of soul and other black musics also decorate the album.

Jihen have been honing their unique approach to music over the years, presenting new evolutions of their sound with the release of every album (each one cleverly titled after genres of television broadcasting, such as Adult, Variety and Education) and today are unmistakeable the only real rock and roll band going. And the presence of Ringo alone is certainly worth the price of admission, eh?

Poetry...2

2008-03-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

lady and the tramp

I was a tramp.
I walked the street in contempt
in the clothes mother bought me.
That same mother, who said I was a waste
destined for nothing.

I was out of work, and out of luck.
But one day
I met a girl called Yumiko
she said "call me ringo" and I obliged
Her cheeks turned red
I was in debt of her beauty.

She never did say much
But the words she did say, were golden.
She said "Nobody sees worth in you, but I do"
she shone
she was charming
she emitted a warm light that caressed me.

She took my hand
Lead me to a quiet place
She kissed me
my body was transported to heaven
I felt warmth inside, an incredible feeling.

She grabbed me
She took me
I made love to her
And for the first time in life
I felt complete.

Hold Me

Shiina Ringo
I have a very good question for you
Would you hold me?
I am freezing cold
I tried putting the heating on
But I am still cold
Why am I cold?
Shiina Ringo
Hold Me
Hold Me
Hold Me
PLEASE
HOLD ME!
HOLD ME!
PLEASE!

FUCKING RIPOFF

2008-03-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah. Try and make your shit computer game better by basing some harlot boss character around my sweet Ringo. Same guitar and everything. Well fuck you, you capitalist cunts!

Karuki Zaamen Kuri no Hana review

2008-03-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

Prior to kalk's release, Ringo was known as a musical icon who flirted with ideas outside of the mould. Her fans treated her albums like a packet of sweets - a selection of confectionary nuggets that offered little more. Her appearance merely mocked and coopted submissive female stereotypes while indulging in their feminine perks, much in the vein of 80s cult avant garde singer 戸川純. Tastemakers in Japan often criticised her as a shameless mainstream ripoff of this aesthetic, capitalising on the neo-eccentric-art-riot-grrl movement of the 90s characterised by performers such as Bjork and updating it for the new millenium. While this perspective was certainly unfair and misguided, Shiina was the first to address such naysayers - much as she usually is the first to everything in the music world.

Come 2003. A seismic ripple shook through the plastic, eminently superficial music scene of Japan. That ripple came in the form of an album entitled kalk. The culprit? 椎名 fucking 林檎.

So what was it all about? What WASN'T it all about? Shiina had perfected music. This is not hyperbole in any sense. Other pop artists, such as Mr Bungle, Cornelius, Frank Zappa, Bjork and John Zorn had already tried to go beyond their station and create music without boundaries, to the predictable bemusement of the clueless masses. But Shiina took it to another level - this album, which is often classed as "art-rock" is in fact the ultimate tribute to the history of music, incorporating ancient Japanese court music (gagaku) alongside lowbrow Okinawan folk songs, min'yo etc. as well as the classical legacy (Baroque fugues, the modernism of Stravinsky, the heart swallowing classics of the romantic composers, the eastern traditionalism of Takemitsu and so on), the sizzling amplified Japanoise of 非常階段, the pseudo-pop chic of 戸川純, the postmodern elegence of the mid 90s Shibuya Kei movement and Pizzicato Five, merciless technically virtuosic thrashings indebted to the great early works of Slayer, phat beats that would make Dre himself blush... and countless more influences pepper the album.

Her Japanese background is interesting to consider - Japan is often seen as a cultural prism, absorbing influences from other countries and inverting them back anew. Bands such as Yellow Magic Orchestra played with Western stereotypes of the East, filtering them through uber-technological electronic arrangements influenced by Kraftwerk and western classical music (it goes without saying that this futuristic perspective came from Japan's repute as the nation of Sony, Mitsubishi etc). Shiina must've known about Yellow Magic Orchestra because they were huge in Nihon, that nation's Duran Duran, and a young Ringo would almost certainly have been captivated by the attractive band members and colourful music which is appealing to a child. 戸川純's band ゲルニカ was also an unequivocally massive influence on Shiina's artistic decisions, with their neo-futurist rhetoric and sound doubtless inspired by Japan's coming to terms with the then relatively young industrial revolution back in the 1920s/30s, long after the Meiji Restoration and westernisation had taken hold. The playfulness of their early sound (primitive synths) had its effect on Ringo as well. Although she would've been 4 or so at the time of that early album's release, it is no surprise that she was aware of it even then and a big fan.

What is particularly interesting about this record are the symmetries. This is a concept that Shiina devised for the album in which the CD has been made to last for exactly 44:44 - a number so perfect it made the Golden Ratio look a shadow of its former self. What's more, the record is one of two halves, each of which are counterparts to one another - Doppelganger, Poltergeist, Yin, Yang, Alpha, Omega, Life, Death, Love, Hate, Rape, Sex, Satan, Christ. There is a line repeated backwards in one half which is heard forwards in the other one - a playful comment on rock's bloated history of myths and a direct reference to Zeppelin's Stairway that is a delight to hear. Finally, the track titles are presented in a professional, formal kanji exclusive to the country's legal practices. The only inconsistency apparent to this infinite and riveting symmetrical bliss would appear to be the title of Stem, which does not have a counterpart on either half of the album and stands alone. This represents Shiina herself, not fitting in with any convention, and also represents a delicious appetite for destruction on her part as she savagely wrecks the beautiful concept upon which her entire masterwork is wrung - the punk attitude rears its fuck-you head once more.

And yet, although this may sound like the charred remains of prog rock, coming back for one last thrash at glory - no. Because, as the Ramones once said, Shiina is a punk, although they spelt it wrong. And her DIY ethic and pragmatic approach to musical blocks (influenced by the compositional ideas of Morton Feldman) silenced any accusations of pomposity while somehow giving more conviction to the elements of symphonic grandeur present in Ringo's sonic tapestry.

Every cut blends into one, every harmony perfectly positioned, all counterpoint obedient to even the most radical aspects of nature (and occasionally even giving them a push, in true Ringo rock 'n roll style, to achieve her desires). It is, without a doubt, the finest Japanese record ever made.

lyrique de la semaine #2

2008-03-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

Quite frankly, a lyrical genius like Ringo deserves TWO lyrics of the week. And for the second, we tackle the seminal "積木遊び" from her debut album "無罪モラトリアム"

"You know, how much I care it!"

Magnificent! Here she MANGLES the english language with the fantastic phrase, "you know how much i care it". It is a critique of western culture's superficiality when it comes to love and affection, And at the same time, she bends it to her own will and expression. We expect her to use a term such as Love, but instead she uses Care, playing hard to get and once again demonstrating her laser-like wit.

Shiina, It Was Almost Something - A Story By Me

2008-03-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

I fell hard.

On the slippery floor.

Literally, that's what happened. But I think, in life, this occurance symbolised my life. It symbolises the way I fail regardless of the endeavour. It symbolises the extent to which this happens. It symbolises the sadistic intensity of this occurance, for I fell hard. Hard as life can be.

In this particular case, it was this floor that did bring me down. In the middle of a public area. Oh, oh no. Out went all my dignity, I sat in the moisture like a fool. Very embarassing. I'm panicking. Oh deary me! I run, a shadow of my former rock and roll self, out of the vicinity, and curl up in an alleyway filled with rats. They say this is what punk is all about.

And here I still lie, in this stink pit. What is punk? Punk is about doing it yourself, It's about not compromising to the mainstream, it's about being yourself and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of you. So yes. Yes I'm a fool, yes I'm dirt. But I must live my life. Yes, yes! I must live my life!

I run into the streets and scream it. YES I MUST LIVE MY LIFE!!!

I am run over by a beautiful Japanese woman in a big car. She has a big black strip of makeup over her eyes. I am happy. Yes... I... must... live. My. Life.

Years pass. I see a fuzzy image of that women. It haunts me for the years of my coma.

After several years in a coma, I track her down from a phonebook. Her name is Shiina. Shiina Ringo. I roll the name off my tongue. Shiina. Shiina. There's something to this. I know there's something, I'm going to take it to its conclusion!!

I go to her house and thank her for paying for my hospital bills. She claims that she did not do this, but I know she did. I mean I didn't pay for them. Where's my house gone? I can't see shite. Kiss shite. But I ask Shiina out on a date. We have lots of good times. I like her a lot. But she is with another man.

For the umpteeth time, Shiina, I stand outside your house and call to you. "Shiina, it was almost something. And then you went back to him. You crushed what we had. What we had, it was my life's ambition. That love was all I had."

How can you stay, with a dumb bloke. All he'll say is "ulluwululuhul" when you are making love. Ululating. It's onomatopoeia.

Once again, I stand outside your house and call to you. "Would you like to marry me?". She looks out the window. I ripped open my shirt - underneath the phrase "MARRY ME" was emblazoned across my chest in amorous red ink. She ululated. She has never been this aroused by anything. She stands there with wide eyes. Once again I ask "Would you like to marry me?", put on another shirt and ripped it again - now the MARRY ME stared her further in the face with more vigour due to her growing lack of self control and burgeoning desires. She even considered her future.

Shiina, oh Shiina, it was almost something. But that night I walked home with a red slap on my cheek and a wet pair of boxers.

Improved Ringo Pictures

2008-03-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from a certain photoshoot, but I have gone to the trouble of removing any "undesirables"

when will they learn. Only I, am the one who can be with Ringo.

FUCKING HELL LOOK AT HER TITS

2008-03-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have the EXCELLENT Baishou Ecstasy DVD, I suggest going to the performance of "おこのみで" and watching carefully.

Poetry...

2008-03-12T09:35:00.001-07:00

Ah, Ringo!

Shiina Ringo!
As beautiful as the night sky
A certain twinkle in her eye,
A voice that causes the heavens to cry,
Because it is very beautiful,
just like her.
Ah Ringo,
If only you were in my arms
I wouldn't have to cry, and happily I could die.

Apple

I took a bite.
See? Juice.
Beautiful, sumptious juice.
A moist kiss.
Ringo, it's you!

Your cheeks lit up when embarassed
But now they light up my life
Wherever you are and however you act
Here I am, basking in your flavours.

How can I resist?
The old original sin?
You entice me and I need you,
C'mon baby, I wanna fuck you.
Your music is incredible
Jazz, folk, east, west
A satiating cocktail for the cochlea.

Laughing, smiling, angry, thoughtful
It's incredible to watch you living your life
Keep it up and I may just reach paradise
You're there, inside me.

Creating The Shiina Ringo Girlfriend Experience, Part Une.

2008-03-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

Until that fated day, when I shall meet her, when my lips shall meet hers, when my hands shall caress her body, i must have a substitute. I also realise you will want one, what with her being the most incredible being to traverse this desolate land we call Earth.

Therefore, I have constructed a very exclusive guide for you, how to achieve "THE SHIINA RINGO GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE!"

What will you require

1 - You must be a REAL Ringo fan.
2 - A printer, complete with ink.
3 - Blank Paper
4 - A Holepunch
5 - A bit of string
6 - Blu Tack
7 - When it's complete, you will need to use your imagination.

You will also require these four beautiful photographs (Click for full-size)

PHOTO#1

PHOTO#2
PHOTO#3

PHOTO#4

STEP 1

First, print off all four photographs, full page of course. Now take Photos 1-3, Holepunch them in the top left hand corner, pop a bit of string through that hole and hoop it round. This should allow you to flip between the photographs!

STEP 2Have a look at this diagram, (X) represents where photographs 1-3 should be, find a way to hang them up so they are at your head level. Now when you wake up in the morning, IT'S LIKE SHE IS REALLY THERE IN YOUR BED WITH YOU! Let me tell you from experience, this is incredibly exciting. Some days, I just lie in bed all day staring at her beautiful face, whilst she stares back at my ugly one. Ah, what a wonderful life.

STEP 3

Have two print-outs of Photo 4, apply Blu Tack to the back of them. Stick them both up in your kitchen, in the positions shown in this diagram.

IT IS COMPLETE! Now when you are sitting in your kitchen, Ringo will be there on your wall, watching you like your eager wife. She doesn't look very happy in Photo 4, but it doesn't matter because she can never leave.

lyrique de la semaine #1

2008-03-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

"gendai no Shido Vishasu ni tejou kakerareru no wa tada atashi dake"

And if you are the sort of uneducated peasant who can't understand Japanese, that translates to;

" I'm the only one who could put handcuffs to a modern Sid Vicious"

Genius, absolute fucking genius. Her razor-sharp wit is in fine form. It shows her putting a deconstructionalist perspective to classic punk culture, tearing through 1977 London and refining the ideas down to a single abstract point.

But wait a minute. I am a modern English boy, a rebel, and I can't play bass either. So where are you Ringo? :(

Dear Shiina Yumiko, AKA Ringo Shiina AKA Apple O' my life...

2008-03-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this site, in what no doubt shall be all its ecclesiastical glory and love-labored homage, with a "shout out", if you will, to the one who started it all. A certain woman who goes by the name, a humble one at that, of Shiina Ringo. She goes by many names, truthfully, but as readers of their blog wade their way through her universe they will discover the meaning of these exciting names by themselves.

So, Shiina Ringo. What can I say about her? Christ, what a corny opening. I'm sorry my goddess. MY GODDESS?!? Who the fuck do I think I am? Shiina, even you, with your encyclopedic knowledge of the universe, could never begin to conceive of how much you and your music figure into my life. Actually, of course you could. That was bloody rude of me. Sorry SHIINA! You know Shiina, sometimes the name you gave yourself is best in expressing what you are. Therefore, I will heretofore refer to you as Ringo, the star of Ringo's Room.

I will cut to the chase. I was a man. A man who was not understood by those around me. I used to think it was their fault, but now I realise they were merely acting within the constraints of their insignificance. But they detected my superior aura and intelligence. And no, they did not like it. Throughout life I have been shunned, from bullying to lack of employment options, and at a certain point I was beginning to come to a realisation that I was destined to transcend all the shit. Transcend mundanity and go someplace else. I was alone though. What can a man alone do? A man. That's all I am. I need someone.

A woman.

Or is it just a woman I found?

No.

The day before I ate an apple, savoured its sweet crunch, excretions of juice, etc. But that day I ate another apple. Somehow, these two events had absolutely nothing to do with one another at all in scientific or logical terms. The stoics of Ancient Greece were rolling in their graves, because these two items were nevertheless so inextricably paired that they could make any set of twins look like apples and oranges. Spiritually, that is.

That apple, it was Ringo. Ringo is Japanese for apple by the way.

I was browsing the internet, living my alternative lifestyle, when I landed upon a site dedicated to an aggressive rock performer named Shiina Ringo. She looked amazing. She looked REALLY amazing. Her tits! I focused on the material, but it drew me in deeper. Deeper, to this woman's life. Her music. Her relationships. Her home.

How despicable I was! How typically chauvinist as a male, seeing no further than the flesh. Yet now I realise the true avant garde relevance of this. Most true art is impenetrable and requires much bashing of heads against a wall and requisite intelligence. But Shiina mastered the manipulation of aesthetics, and combined the striking superficiality of Warhol's Pop Art with the indecipherable gut/mind volleys of Joyce's Ulysses.

But yet, I was still reeling. Shiina drew me in unlike anything I'd ever seen and while I was heading into her world like something off a conveyer belt, my inner sanctum was reeling. But fuck that. Here I went. Off to Shiina World. But no sooner had I gotten comfy than Shiina ripped me from whence I had been seated and...

Rocked.

She screamed, attacked me, sexually belittled me, traumatised me, thrilled me, fucked me, tore me up like bread, ate me like a pack of Polos, had sex with me dad, cummed in my balls, and FUCKED ME JIMMY! Basically I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

A complete sensory assault, this was me: Wrhguio. Fast forward! I had regained my composure, and began to consider the implications of what had just occured. I remembered a nurse, who questioned my deep seated prejudices towards sexuality. I recalled a rocker, ripped straight from the pages of a Mick Rock portfolio, who scared the shit out of the squares and made me hot for the world of rebellion. I could remember a girl who evoked incredible political and societal statements and throwbacks with her avant garde style of dress. Basically, I could also recall seeing the entire breadth of the universe flash before my eyes in the span of half a nanosecond.

But this is negating the woman's music. Is there nothing she CAN'T do? Her handling of the guitar transcends the wankery of rock gods such as Clapton and Page while simultaneously revelling in their excess, embracing erotic hedonism while rising above its sordid nature and maintaining a dignity like none other. Citations of composers such as Debussy appear in her song titles. It is rumoured that she sent a 10 page list of musical favourites to her label, with all kinds of music on it.

And indeed, the music. She is a perfectionist, she perfects a genre, creates the absolute pinnacle, and then tosses it aside like a ragdoll, moving on to the next one in an instant. Rock, Jazz, Pop, whatever, she comes, she conquers, and she moves on. No instrument is beyond her understanding, and she approaches each with a unique sense of grace, unrivalled throughout the ages. As with genres, she masters an instrument, then tackles another without a second thought, truly an incredible woman.

A mole, perched beneath the lowest possible reach of her firm, prominent cheekbones which radiate an incredible light that is subsequently reflected with added zest and zeal from the incredible orbs of her eyes and enhanced with the stylish and au natural appeal of her lashes, Ringo carries an elegance that lacks contrivance and surpasses all. Even when the mole left her, it only seemed to unveil a layer of her sexuality and beauty that we had not really got a glimpse of in the past. It was refreshing to the eye.

Ringo, if you're reading this (oh perish the thought of me wasting your time and talent! Do please refrain from reading further if this page is causing you stress or weighing on your spiritual flow) - thank you. Thank you for even acknowledging me. I know that you are the one for me. And I know that any other relationships you choose to partake in will only hurt you. I will wait, Shiina. You must know how patient I am, and how much I love you. All this is just a test of my endurance. One day, Shiina, we will meet. This site is dedicated to your spirit, yourself as much as the fans who desire you but sadly cannot have you, as it written in destiny between us. Shiina... you know, don't you?