Friday, 11 July 2008

More Poetry ~A Buffet Of Love For My Scrumptious Apple~

Oh Ringo

Oh, oh Ringo
Yeah, you're a good pearl
Rock my world

The stalk of your apple
I rip from the stem
I go by my instinct
and bite into the hem

Of your dress
You know how to impress
I untangle your vest
From the hairs in your breast

Just kidding, girl! Your beauty is flawless
We can't help but ogle the bounty before us,
Me, my willy and hairy legs
You, just fucking perfection all over the place

So let's do it! Let's stop talking
You can't have sex when you are walking
Let's get down, let's make love
To the pits of hell from the clouds above!!

A Girl With Class

Ringo, your pussy
Is like the nine trillionth IV interval 1/43 equation found in the string quartet of Debussy
Ringo, your cunt
Is like the idiomatic chord progressions that fuel the power-pop found on Todd Rundgren's album Runt
Ringo, your arse
Is like the Deleuzeian idea of a man's need for data being incorrigible, the need for it to be metaphysically parsed
Ringo, your dick
It doesn't exist

Ringo, my girl
You rock my world in a manner equivalent to distorted chord riffers such as t'Sabbath and t'Deep Pur'l
Ringo, my bitch
You suck my dick, a sexy witch!

Fuck me in the ass!
Shit on my balls!
Eat my shite!
Lick my world!

Know this well, as a girl of trust!
Your ubiquitous charms are the subject of my lust
yeah, and I'm gonna go live in Japan
Wear a scarf and stick it to the man
Wielding the folklore of Circe and Pan
And the Renaissance stylings of Steeleye Span!

Django Reindhart ROCKS!!

The Flower Of You
Ringo, do you remember when I brought you that flower?
You looked at it for half an hour
I wondered, is that where you get your power?

Then I noticed the look on your face
Similar to the studious expression of one examining themselves in the mirror
Looking around, striving for progress
Using every opportunity to put life to the test

Then I realised, "wow, could it be?"
And then you said "Yes,
the only real flower is me."

It made so much sense.
You're beautiful, growing all the time
So tender, yet with a brash aesthetic strength
God Ringo, gimme your breasts!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Guest Contributor - Paul Morley

Today I hand over to a fine gentleman. A man who goes by the name of Paul Morley. A man wielding meticulous pop knowledge and a truly exceptional way with words, which has no doubt caused controversy with those who are too illiterate to consider the deeper craftwork of sonic frequencies we would consider to be "pop perfection". Take it away Paul!

Words And Music Part 2 - The Female Musician Part 1 - Ringo

The songs that saved your life.

THIS CHARMING WOMAN, The woman that saved your life, or at least she can protect you from a cruel and corrupt world.

I recall an encounter with her, a very musical encounter, she was wielding post-neo-classical-baroque-pop. She knew exactly what she was doing, we never went to see her, she came to see us. She teased our tympanic membranes with her rousing frequencies, a look which pierces our anterior chambers, irrefutable style. A stern sexed-up face with belittling smiles, dual sight globes which peer into our very souls, and which she wields as gorgeous eccentric weapons. She was not waiting all that time, she was arming herself. A girl whom nature chose to sculpt itself, surpassing measly human efforts in the process and even outdoing itself - it is as if Ringo-chan rose from the ether, of her own accord, and had little to do with anything mortals are able to conceive. Addictive as coke, COCA-COLA!

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. She wielding a guitar, the guitar which she had saved a company with. Her guitar. She wields it with such precision and care BUT it's not just attention to armour. It's a very low-key affair and yet the very notion of a girl wielding a guitar is mindblowing in itself. Striding through regions and religions only touched upon by such rock gods as THE QUO, she becomes a modern day Jean D'Arc. A fearsome feminist, killing easy male preconceptions of women and doing justice to their true profundity. Nobody can bear Ringo's intensity, and yet it is rawly thrilling to witness her exhibitions of sense-based elemental sculptures, like aural/visual/visceral tornadoes that charr and eliminate the soul only to pave the way for a inner rebirth and replenishing.

Another encounter, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Merely two years on, and she had rebuilt her character, teleporting us to a smokey french club in the 1950s as she caresses her slender body with a fine avant-garde style of dress and opera gloves which exude a vice-like grip onto the microphone, and onto her life. Also onto our hearts. Her voice, so raw, dominating the orchestra behind her. She was a succubus. Her boobs looked quite big and you could see her nipples through her dress. Her gorgeous slight movements, she was making sexy noises and breathing all over the mic and shit, IT WAS FUCKING AROUSING!

She is filthy as well.

"If I make my throat work, you’ll spill over and overflow"

that is her artfully describing giving a blowjob. Lyrics to what was probably a fine slice of Morleyian Pop Perfection. CLASSY! But I think it's splendid that we have these deep female musicians tackling explicit sexual subjects unrestrained with such casuality (a morleyism). It signifies a significant "fuck you" to malekind which harkens back to the riot-grrl roots, but simultaneously we are aroused by the tenacity and indeed audacity of these bold and yet marvellously crafted female statements. A movement I like to call "Art-Slut" but I must ask, if a woman uses such archaic, baroque, and pulchritudinously poetic words, can she be excused from such a demeaning tag? Does she maintain her dignity? I believe so. Marvellous!

What IS Pop?

I remember when she formed her band, a multifarious posse of jazz-wankers wielding painfully modern jazzrockpopcore. But something wasn't quite right, to quote a bequiffed Manchester loner "The music that they constantly play, it says nothing to me about my life."

Indeed, it seems our fair maiden had gotten carried away. Or to put it in more brutal terms, lost her head up her arse. I don't want to hang her though, I still love her in a very real way, but I feel as though she doesn't love me as much anymore.

There was an exception, a particularly raw noise frenzy driven by megaphones and liberal use of a "Pub Keyboard" (Imagine the cricket themes ong, the cheapo organ.) But alas, not enough. I stop and question to myself "is THIS pop?" "is THIS a pop downfall?" in harsh comparison to a heroin induced rock self-destruction "is THIS a pop downfall?" A "Popfall" if you will.

On the live front, we witnessed her "sell out" as it were. No longer were her crowds composed of nerdy men in glasses who probably just came to look at her body, or maybe they came because her old HITS really spoke to us about OUR LIVES? These days her crowds featured notably trendy young women, who all had the same rather vile orangey-brown hair dye. Who no doubt aspired to be like her. Of course they could not, NOBODY COULD. Perhaps her concerts were saved when she quite frankly "BUSTED OUT THE OLD HITS" in a manner similar to the manchesterian candidate Paul Weller. But there is a distinct difference. Back then when she EXPLODED onto the alternative female musician scene, EXPLODED! Her arsenal of 60s outsider folk inspired, streetwise, gritty, HONEST words and pop delicacies.

Back when she referred to herself as THE SADISTIC PRINCESS! For reasons we are not sure of, possibly because her fine aural morsels and amorous character made us into her slaves. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! She stomped around the dingy livehouse stage in torn fishnets, her bra was hanging off, her dress was incredibly skimpy, I COULD SEE HER FUCKING KNICKERS! She was screaming into a megaphone, if you reached your hand out to her, SHE WOULD TOUCH IT! A GIRL TOUCHING YOUR HAND! She sends female depth charges to EXPLODE YOUR PANTS. But how chauvanistic of me to focus on her body. I couldn't help it when she was so sexually-aggressive, as was her music. A scorching punk spirit, yet irrefutably pop. She knew how Joan Of Arc felt, as the flames rose to her mole and the plastic personas of other popstars started to melt.


Then I view her modern performances with her party of musical scholars. Now she is waltzing around a huge stage in a dress that I bet was FACKING EXPENSIVE, it reflects the culture of the 18th century french working girls, the original petite bourgeoisie. She has flowers in her hand and she seems distant. "It just wasn't like, the old days anymore."

Then mum walked in again, she said "Paul! That's nice dear, how does she get her hair like that?" I said "NO MUM! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! This isn't meant to be what she is about!" then I had to hit mum with the saucepan.

She once said, "I find pop to be really artificial and plastic, I wanted to make something real." in her typical charming way. And FUCKING HELL did she succeed. This music has been dragged through the streets, thrown off buildings, scrapped across subway tracks, and thrown into the clouds.


This is pop, this is a woman. A pop-woman a wop, woman-pop womop, wop, etc.

It is now within this moment I recall a wonderful piece of footage from her younger days. She spontaneously and eccentrically begins to dance and sing in the streets, onlookers ponder "who is this daft bint?" and indeed, if I was there I may feel the need to put my fat morley hand over her beautiful mouth in order to silence her burning musical spirit, in order to save her from any embarrassment in the eyes of those who cannot understand pop. But I couldn't believe it. I COULD. NOT. BELIEVE IT! Here she was, completely free, completely happy, beautiful. Let her be. This is female liberation.

I had to cry. The first tears of joy I have ever felt stream down my face. My mother branded me a sad little man, but for a split-second I saw a particular look in her eyes. I knew she understood, she understood it on a different level, as a female she felt liberated. As a male I saw incredible beauty in the footage. It could well be the finest melding of pop and TV ever conceived. The ONLY melding of pop and TV ever conceived.

In that moment, if she would have said "Would you like to marry me?" Yes. How did you know? But alas, the moment has passed. As I go back to the tormenting prison of my brilliant mind, I still long for the time to reappear in some unknown far off realm.

"Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."

I've been Paul Morley.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Koko De Kiss Shite - Where?

You may recall the fair maiden's HIT Koko De Kiss Shite (Kiss Me Here for the uneducated) where she tackled the restraints of a conventional love song, infusing it with an innuendoic edge.

Touched by her words, and fascinated by the prospect of a deeper meaning, I penned this response song where I ask the burning question?

Kiss You Where?

You said you wanted to be kissed,
But I was wondering exactly where you wanted to be kissed?

You are in front of me, are you weeping?

I have vast ideas of Anarchy. You could say I was a modern day Sid Vicious with my superficial ideas of an anarchist aesthetic.

I am not going anywhere,
I would like to stand next to you if possible,
you say you want to be kissed,
but where exactly?

You gazed as I looked at other girls,
Of course I felt this,
You ARE a pretty girl, and I will look in your direction.

I am staying here,
You are very lovely too,
I only have eyes for you too,
but where do you want to be kissed again?

I am not going anywhere,
I would like to stand next to you if possible,
you say you want to be kissed,
but where exactly?

Sunday, 22 June 2008

le papier peint parte trois

Spark interest and discussion about your desktop with these fantastic papers constructed by your host "with the most" MOI! Great slogans, great girl, great times. CLICK FOR BIG!

It would be my great pleasure if a reader was to email me a photograph of their computer screen enlightened by my art. Would be wonderful.

Thursday, 29 May 2008


I Wonder

I wonder
Wonder out loud
To the magic of sound
And look what I've found

A girl so young
But a girl so great
So now I have her wonderful music
On my plate

Ringo, a fruity treat
She is not to be treated as a slab of meat
A girl who flouts feminine convention
She is nevertheless a fine confection
Men are drawn as if by magnet
Until shallow attraction appears to stagnate
And true artistic appreciation
Reveals itself in bottomless sation.


Shiina Ringo
You are so fair
And full of care
With finely combed hair
And a crazy stare
Come into my lair
If you dare
And we will shag
You sexy slag.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

le papier peint parte deux

Another fine piece of art, crafted out of sheer imagination. Madame Ringo, Mother Nature, conjures up a dress of foilage as she lights up the heavens with a performance.

The green curtains raising up into the air represent such foilage in it's natural habitat. The blue streak shooting off to the right represents raging waters and their desire to return to their point of origin. A skyline which falls, and a blazing sunlight.

The circle of life.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Analyse Visuelle de Ringo no Uta

As the year 2004 approached, and after creating possibly her magnum-opus in the form of 加爾基 精液 栗ノ花, the ever astounding goddess of music Shiina Ringo decided to put her solo career on hiatus to concentrate on forming a band, a decision which sparked mass hysteria across the continent of Japan and set Ringo's fanbase into frenzy. What was our girl doing? But what Ringo did next settled fan doubts.

As a farewell (albeit a very dignified one) she presented us with a final single. The masterwork that is "りんごのうた" "The Apple's Song" or however else you wish to translate it (leave it in Japanese, please).

Now the single contained something very, very interesting indeed. A song formed entirely out of samples from her career, a rather unconventional idea which again proved that on an artistic level she is still not to be trifiled with. But what I wish to discuss today is the excellent title track, a beautiful laid-back composition that has a low-profile swagger, but still it carries a mournful undertone that stirs our emotions and fills our eyes. This is the Ringo we knew and the Ringo we know. What is the difference anyway between past and present? Ringo is Ringo. But she's grown so much... but it's still good old rocking Ringo. After this single, Ringo's fans were all ready to wave goodbye to their heroes solo career and wished her good luck with the band, knowing that this was not the end of the Ringo story, but in fact barely the beginning...

To create a concise package with the single's theme of closure, and retrospection, two promotional videos were directed and given on a DVD with the single. The first contained her reenacting various scenes from her past videos in appropriate costume. However the second, the "unplugged" version presented her in a blank room, still outfitted in the various past costumes but somehow despite the clothing she seems "naked" on a metaphorical level. We see a very human side to the artist, and it is almost as if she is addressing us personally, alone, one to one, which again adds to the impact and gets us rather teary eyed.

And this is what I wish to deconstruct today, quite possibly one of her greatest visual presentations. And also, quite sadly, possibly the closest we shall ever get to her person.

A blank room, however it is completely filled suddenly by a certain young woman's personality - once which we recognise immediately, due to our refined cultural awareness and appreciation for curious characters such as Ringo. It is then that we see le reine pomme walk out, the same dark, ravenesque girl we seen three years previously in the rose gardens of Kiss Shite. However, as we look into her face, we notice reformation. She has matured ever so slightly, thinned, a sharper look. Here we witness the peak of stage two in Ringo's physical career. Refinement, like a perfectly sculpted Renaissance sculpture. A picture of realism and unrequited desire in one clashing shot.

Still wielding the famed Dusenberg, however this is a Ringo from a year before. The angel-winged school girl in calm disarray lying on a concrete floor. Surrounded by a confused public. So timid and ungainly, yet with a natural born raw purity and sweetness. Now off the floor and into a non-descript room for our observation. She contrasts with the wall by being so magical and pure, as I like to say, an amazing contradiction.

A very rare moment. A Ringo who previously only existed in the animated realm of 真夜中は純潔 is dragged into our reality. Fresh from a colourful caper, a 60s catsuited, crime-fighting, femme fatale. Ringo as 峰不二子, and the ultimate combination of sweetness and strength. A very sexy combination! But also really tough and that. If she was ever angry, she could slap me in the face for as long as she wanted, AND I WOULD LOVE IT!

The former princess, and now queen of Kabuki-cho. Previously seen being sexually suggestive on the streets of Shinjuku, here present in her militaristic attire which represents the intense mental training which was required to dethrone her mother and also references night ladies involved in military situations. Such as a Joy Division, or those that sold themselves to western soliders during WW2.

The first geisha that appears, not from a career perspective though. Seems to be a personification of Miss Ringo's general mood, casual mood, the "neutral" geisha as it were. Maybe this is the perfect state of humanity, neither hot or cold, the ultimate balance. Yet, perhaps thus the least accessible side of Ringo, the one most free of luresome lustre. Notice the colour of her Kimono and then notice the themed colour of this site, I chose grey to indeed represent this more common side of Ringo's character. Common, yet boundlessly unique. This is Ringo after all.

A country lass, who travelled an abstract, depression struck alien landscape in the video for mega-power-ballad "GIPS". Notice the red leather choker and wrist band, which could actually directly reference the outfit worn in the video for 罪と罰. Perhaps this is a younger version of that Ringo, one yet to take a fall through the darker side of life. The red could be a metaphor for suffering, and here it only has a slight grip on Ringo, albeit strategically placed in vulnerable positions, hence the ballad nature of the particular song the outfit was used for.

And so here it is. The 罪と罰 (Crime and Punishment) outfit. And as we can see she wears a full outfit of red leather, which as I mentioned in the last video could indeed represent suffering, in this case then she is suffering heavily - an angel that has fallen into the mires of a corrupt society and needs to seek refuge, but is hopelessly marred in bottomless sorrow. Angsty, yes, but the emotional effect it has on us leaves no doubt of Ringo's authenticity. Desperate and close to the edge as reflected by the tone of the song and video, particularly the scene in which she holds a katana to her throat, however her neck is free from the red which could suggest the watered down feelings of longing that were present in GIPS. Notice the black eyeliner, a great strip of black depression across her character, a slyly delivered blow of hatred or negativity obviously delivered by one jealous of Ringo's beauty

And so here we have the "positive" geisha from the 積木遊び video. An upbeat, fun, flamboyant personality, but also carries the sexually aggressive and hard-to-get edge usually associated with Ringo. Could be a manifestation of Ringo's good mood.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, the "negative" geisha from STEM. Almost spectral in appearance, a lady of death. Not evil, but exibits a dark, depressing presence. Quite possibly a manifestion of Ringo's bad mood.

The infamous challenging nurse, answering those ignorant enough to say "why don't you dress up as a nurse anymore?" But now carrying a more stern, serious look. Indeed, the young nurse has gotten older. A girl committed to healing, who has already had to heal herself many times spiritually. Ringo has been through a lot and people take this credibility as a bond of trust - Ringo is as reliable as fuck.

A particularly interesting moment, and the only thing besides Ringo that appears in the room. But this could possibly be a representation of Ringo. The large red apple splitting, which represents her solo career, breaking open and unveiling a fresh green apple which represents her future exploits. The splitting of the apple may also represent strong feminist tendencies - the splitting of the Adam's Apple, the silencing of men and the ultimate death blow.

A final face to face with each version of Ringo, counting down from the last single to the first. A montage that delivers the clear meaning and implication of what we've seen so far, clearly animating in fast pace the build up and evolution of Ringo. Suddenly a flash of white light, and we are presented with...

The new Shiina Ringo naked. Not only on a metaphorical level anymore, which is frankly a stroke of genius on her part, as she does acknowledge the significance of this promotional video, but it also serves as a direct challenge to those who are only interested in her image. But who can blame such ruffians who do not understand the arts? For she is indeed a beautiful woman. However, she finally presents herself naked for their entertainment, but she only shows herself from shoulder level up, no doubt frustrating them. A rather amusing gesture typical of Ringo. But what is also important here is the fact her mole has gone, believed to have been removed for medical reasons but it also represents a fresh start for Ringo, a lesser emphasis on herself as she wishes to form a band.